Consideration for Immobility; I Live the Impossibility

 

 Uneasiness with the Hikikomori that are Energetic

 

I have been hikikomori for more than 10 years.

I have decided to write for the Hikikomori Newspaper because many of the hikikomori who have felt being estranged from hikikomori communities seem to be put aside and deserted by active and energetic people in that communities.

Also, I feel uneasy with the recent events and circle activities where the hikikomori gather because I have fear for getting into groups.

I suppose that most of the hikikomori cannot find their place or social connections like I am. They struggle to find their own way of life through trials and errors.

Therefore I suggest that we should focus on ‘immobility’ about the hikikomori issue.

More than anything, I want you to understand and respect the fact that there are hikikomori who cannot make move.

 

Focus on Immobility 

 I still do not have confidence to control myself because of a suicide I tried to commit in my youth and psycho-physical problems I have since then.

For instance, it is ‘impossible’ for me to start working or to commit myself to some groups.

I am afraid I might try to kill myself or hurt other people if I make such moves.

Also, I was in so bad terms with my family members that I have used up most of my energy to reconcile with them.

For that reason I do not have enough energy left to live a normal life; thus all I can do is to withdraw in myself.

I have had those impossibilities since I can remember. I always have felt isolated from society and thought that I would become hikikomori in no time.

Therefore, my life itself is hikikomori, where I cannot make a move.

When my parents die in future, I have no other way but to die alone.

Life like this might only be that of curse or despair. However, I think it is important to focus on happiness and how to survive.

That is what I see as respecting hikikomori life.

 

‘Consideration for Impossibilities’ rather than ’Expectation on Possibilities’

From my experience currently I seek for compassion for immobility where it is not based on ‘job-hunting.’ This is not included in methods of hikikomori support.

In other words, I want them not to put emphasis on ‘expectation on possibility’ for the hikikomori but ‘consideration for impossibilities.’

This might sound very negative, but I take it very vital that people have compassion for disabilities and difficulties that the hikikomori are suffering from.

I cannot commit myself on treatments or activities for the other hikikomori, but I believe I can do something such as having compassion, as one of those who cannot take action.

The hikikomori are ‘immobile absent existence.’

Therefore I emphasize the importance of ‘imagining those who cannot be present on the place.’

I hope that the hikikomori are not limited to those who can ‘stand up and speak out.’

 

 

Written by Hikikomori in Iruma City

Translation by Yukinori Maehara